She Proved that a Woman's Place Is in the House
"There is not a right or best path -- there is only your path." -- Nancy Pelosi
In 2010 President Obama’s grand plan, The Affordable Care Act, was stuck in the House of Representatives. The Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, realized she couldn’t count on any Republican votes, and would lose some from Democrats in her own party. To complicate the matter, Obama was holding out for bipartisan support.
‘Does the president not understand the way this game works?’ Pelosi asked Rahm Emanuel, the White House chief of staff. ‘He wants to get it done and be beloved, and you can’t have both—which does he want?’
She got the bill passed in March, 2010, by a 219-212 vote. And, yes, she knows what it is to not be beloved by the public.
Pelosi grew up in a political family. Her father, and later her brother, were each Mayor of Baltimore.
[Her mother] was a traditional Italian wife from the old country who ran the legal and political office of her husband from their Albemarle Street home. She didn’t let [her six children] stop her from organizing women in the neighborhood to write letters and make flyers, or hosting ravioli and lasagna parties.
In her memoir, Know Your Power, she writes,
In 1947, at our father’s inauguration as Mayor, I and two of my brothers were given drawing materials and taken to a City Hall office.
It was a family rule to never talk to strangers, so when a man came in and said, “Your father is going to be mayor. Isn’t that exciting?”, I refused to answer.
My brother Joey said, “It’s all right, we can say hello.”
It turned out this man was the outgoing Mayor and we were in his private office. Later, Joey said he was going to tell Mommy that I was not polite to the Mayor.
“If you do,” I said calmly, “I’ll tell Mommy that you talked to a stranger.”
I was seven and Joey was nine. I didn’t squeal on him, and because I’d earned his respect, he didn’t squeal on me. I had just built my first strategic alliance.
At age twenty, Nancy attended John F. Kennedy’s Inaugural Ball. She was comfortable in the presence of power.
In 1963 Nancy married Paul Pelosi, and they had five children. She says she learned organizational skills during her parenting years. One of her friends said,
I knew Nancy was going places when I was at her house and saw those little children folding their own laundry and organizing it in stacks.
The welfare of all children is important to Nancy.
“What motivates me every day,” she said, “is that one in five children lives in poverty. We owe them a better future and a chance to follow their dreams.”
In 1977 Pelosi became Northern Chair of the California Democratic Party, and from 1981 to 1983, Chair of the California Democratic Party. By 1987, she was 47 and the children were grown.
At that time a friend of hers in Congress who was dying of cancer requested that Nancy run for her seat. By then, Pelosi had made connections and learned the process. She was ready. In seven weeks she threw 100 house parties, recruited 4,000 volunteers, and raised $1 million.
Two of her first votes as Representative from California were for the Civil Rights Restoration Act of 1987, and then for overriding President Reagan’s veto. The bill became law in 1988.
Pelosi used the power of her seat in the House, as the first woman minority Whip (2001) and then as the first woman Speaker (2007), to visibly support democratic, protective goals for Americans.
She said,
Power is not anything that anybody gives away. You have to fight for it.
In 2007, together with fellow Democrats Harry Reid and Rahm Emanuel, Pelosi worked to re-take Congress from the Republicans. They succeeded.
Her first act as Speaker was to pledge that House Democrats would carry out a plan during the “First 100 (Legislative) Hours” of the 110th Congress. After only 87 business hours, every measure in the plan had been passed.
Pelosi has said,
No matter how excellent the intellectual appeal, the emotional connection [in negotiations] is essential for success.
But what about the emotional impact on the negotiator? In her book, Pelosi describes an early brush with bigotry. She heard someone ranting that HIV/AIDS was punishment for a sin, and she was afraid that he would repeat it on the floor of the House.
Barney Frank told me, ‘Welcome to Congress. But don’t complain to me — go out on the floor and respond to him.’ Barney gave me another lesson that day: Keep it short when talking to colleagues. This has served me well.
And in 1984, when Pelosi was chair of the National Democratic Host Committee, she told Lindy Boggs,
‘I’m thinking of giving up some of my positions. I have too many opportunities.’
Lindy said, ‘Darlin’, no man would ever, ever, have that thought. Nancy, know your power.’
I had power in my hands and I should use it.
As Speaker, Pelosi wanted to “jolt Congress out of old ways of thinking”. When she got there, Congress was still a men’s club where cigarette and cigar smoke filled the air. One of her first acts as Speaker was to ban smoking in the Capitol, signaling a change in the atmosphere.
Women and experienced newcomers were ignored, or worse.
For example, a woman from an earlier era walked into a committee room for her first assignment and was told by the chairman, “I don’t want any more broads in here.”
And in 1973, when Pat Schroeder was first appointed to the Armed Services Committee, the chairman would not allow her a place to sit. She had to share a single chair — literally — with Ron Dellums, the first African American Congressman to serve on the Committee.
Pelosi says in her book,
The mystique of the old guard made them infallible. I called it “The Secret Sauce”. Their message was, ‘Only we know the secret sauce for success; you don’t and you never will.’
Message to America’s daughters: There is no secret sauce.
Pelosi made it a point to change the attitude in Congress toward newcomers and women. They are our future.
We now move freshmen to the forefront, giving them legislation and the chance to be heard.
I admire her innovations. And for all girls and women, I applaud her demonstrations of personal and professional boundaries.
At President Trump’s State of the Union speech in 2020, we saw Pelosi’s full, fearless expression of her earned power. When Trump first stepped up to the podium, he rejected her handshake. Then at the end, in protest, Pelosi ripped up her copy of Trump’s speech, for all to see.
Asked why she tore up the speech, Pelosi told reporters. "Because it was the courteous thing to do, considering the alternatives."
This week I’m going to watch the nightly news for a glimpse of our nation’s first woman Speaker of the House, because she won’t be here much longer. I’m going to miss her fine, fierce courtesy.
Great letter Deda. Such a fitting tribute to an amazing woman.
Class, drive, intelligence....
May her example inspire us all!